Tag Archives: diaper

Sophie’s home

We decided not to involve the cops in the Sophie the Giraffe kidnapping, and instead paid the $18.99 (plus shipping and handling) to Amazon.com. Five to seven days later, Sophie arrived home. Praise be to God!

Strangely, she’s cleaner than when she left. There were no remnants of last week’s oatmeal crusted on to any of her legs, let alone all of them and it made me wonder if she didn’t set this all up just to get a little R&R. No matter, she’s home now, Little Man is lovingly mouthing her nose as we speak.

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Joke’s on you Sophie the giraffe! (but, if you’re reading this, we still want you home)

 

Postcard from the edge (of where?)

So, listen Sophie the giraffe. When I was a little girl I used to “run away” when I was unhappy. I would shout something dramatic like, “THAT’S IT!!,” slam the back door of our house and stomp down the driveway, only stopping to look behind me to make sure someone was watching. They were obviously out of sight, so I held my head up high and continued my march. I would get to the road in front of our house and sneak down to hide under the bush. Honestly, Sophie, I was too scared of strangers to go any further and running away wasn’t my real motivation. But I think you know that already.

I would sit under that bush imagining my mother crying wretchedly, howling, “Oh if only I had given her a Barbie instead of Sindy, the English knock off. Maybe she would still be here.” The police would come, the whole town would start lamenting how great I am… until I stroll out only to be covered in hugs and kisses, carnivals would be thrown in my honor and Barbies would rain from the sky. However, after about six or eight minutes, I couldn’t hear the sirens so I’d wander out and see no one. A little further and still no one. Finally, I’d walk back into the house and realize that no one had even noticed I was gone. My point in this fascinating, if not lengthy, story Sophie, is that life goes on.

So, if you happen to be hiding behind little man’s bed (*note to self: check behind bed) thinking, “Oh, they miss me so much,” you may be surprised to find out that maybe we don’t.

And if giraffes understand irony, I apologize. I realize that in writing a blog about your missing status, I might be showing that we do actually miss you, but…  umm… ok, I have no explanation.

Oh, just come home or crawl out from behind the bed please. I’ll look into giraffe carnivals for you.

I walked into a trash can this weekend

Leaving Target, carrying the diaper genie elite in the box, I was reading the description and walked right into a trash can. Just one more misstep in the trials and tribulations of diaper disposal. When we found out we were expecting I asked around about the best way to dispose of diapers and from most people I heard that putting the diapers in a regular trash can and then tossing the bag daily outside is sufficient. So, I returned the diaper genie elite that we had registered for, along with all the special bags (which was the big downfall of the genie I heard) and bought the diaper pail instead. It takes regular bags but has a little piece that turns over so you don’t see the diapers.

Baby arrived and we started off with the diaper pail. Problem was you put the diaper in the top and turn the handle and you get poo on internal pieces that are impossible to wash. Howevere, in trying you put wipes in the top and find out that wipes get stuck somewhere in between and you have to pull them out, getting poo on your hands. So, the diaper pail went out the window.
Diaper Pail rating: Nissan Murano

We moved on to a large step trash can. After about 3 weeks of emptying it daily we noticed the smell remains and you see the pooy diapers every time you open it. So, the trash can went out the window.
Trash Can: Ford Focus

We moved on to the diaper genie. It was pricey so I chose the diaper genie II, rather than the  elite to save $10. It was good for lack of smell, but you have to open the lid (one hand opening, one hand holding baby on table, one hand holding diaper… wait that won’t work) and you have to push the diaper into the disposal by hand. Just one day with a baby will tell you that newborn poo gets everywhere. EVERYWHERE. Somehow you have it on both hands, up the wall, on your shirt and almost always on baby’s foot. Do you really want to be pushing it through a small opening by hand? So, the diaper genie II went out the window.
Diaper Genie II: Cadillac Escalade

We have worked our way from bottom to top. The Diaper Genie Elite has a step, is tall enough that I don’t have to bend down (I’m not lazy, I just want to be on the same level as my baby on the changing table) and has a mouth opening that opens each time I step on the step. Bingo. No smell, no touching or pushing poo, no residual poo on the receptacle.
Diaper Genie Elite: Aston Martin DB7

So, if you are looking to save money, don’t do what I did and avoid the special diaper bags. I spent approx $25 on each that did not work out and $30 on the Diaper Elite. $60 down the drain to save money.

How to Save the World without Washing Diapers

I decided pretty early on that I wanted to do cotton diapering when I found out that diapers last at least 500 years in landfills (see my previous post), so I visited a cotton diapering store in St Louis while we were there to see how it was done. I took my mother in law. I walked out completely confused and she walked out thinking I was a looney tune. There were so many different versions of cotton diapers and all of them entailed wet pails and soaking of poopy diapers. I love the earth and all, but my gag reflex is stronger than superman (or weaker? Point is, I gag at poo.)

I did some research and found gdiapers. These are cotton diapers that do not entail washing of poo filled diapers (I’m sure there are some accidents and some leaks just like with disposables). Basically, they are these cute little diapers that you put a disposable insert into; when poo happens you can throw away the insert or… get this… FLUSH it!! They are biodegradable (you could even use them in compost if you were crazy like that!), they break down in just a matter of weeks and actually provide nutrients to the earth that help rather than hinder the world! Even the outer layer that you don’t toss is biodegradable. Here is a video from the nice folks at gdiapers showing exactly how their products break down. I can’t vouch for their use (I’m gonna feel like an idiot if they turn out to be terrible after all of these blogs!) quite yet, although they did fit the teddy bear very well when we tested, but the cat wouldn’t sit still long enough. I plan on giving cotton diapering a try and so did these celebs.

If you have any questions about gdiapers or cotton diapers in general, shoot me a message and I’ll do my best to find the answer for you.

Upcoming posts on this subject will include:
How to use gdiapers.
Cost analysis of gdiapers vs. disposables.
How to get ’em cheaper.

Prepare your barf bag: 5 ‘Fun’ Things You Can Do With Your Baby’s Placenta Gallery

This post from Inhabitots is possibly the most disgusting thing I’ve ever seen:

This is a bear made of real human placenta

1. Craft A Teddy Bear

How could anyone ever forget the placenta teddy bear we previously featured? Almost 11,000 Inhabitots readers voted and deemed the not-so-cuddly ode to the organ “Barftastic!” Still, 732 of you deemed it “Adorable.” To make this unique Teddy Bear, the placenta must be cut and cured with sea salt, and then made pliable with a tannin and egg mixture before transforming it into a one-of-a-kind teddy.

Follow this link for more: Inhabitots placenta ideas

Baby wipes

Kandoo wipes

This blog post was so shocking (and well written) that I had to report it here. Please visit MommyPie’s regular blog to read more about her wonderful family.

Piece of Crap: Kandoo ‘Flushable’ Wipes

And this week’s craptastic award goes to … (drum role please)

Kandoo “Flushable” Wipes (or any baby/toddler wipe that claims to be flushable, for that matter).

Seriously. Can it get more accurate than that?

Ankle deep into the potty training years, I thought these lovely little inventions were a Godsend. I’ve been happily flushing away for nearly two years now. (As MaggiePie is fond of saying … oh, silly woman.)

A few months ago, a sudden overwhelming stench and rapidly growing pool of filth — seeping, seemingly from the depths of Hell (located conveniently just outside my back door, btw) — propelled me to the yellow pages. Later that afternoon, I watched as my new sulphur spring exploded. Five hundred dollars and mounds of dirt later, I was told this was, in fact, not the handiwork of the Devil, but of … Kandoo.

“Do you have a young child in the house?”

“Yeeesss …”

“Wipes.”

“Wipes??”

“Wipes.”

I watched in horror as my plumber surfaced with huge wads of what looked like dirty rags.

“But the package says they’re flushable!” (Silly, silly woman.)

“I can’t tell you how many times I’ve seen this. I dig up at least one system per week that’s plugged with these things. It’s unbelievable.”

(Note to reader: Keep in mind, I live in a relatively small town, and one a week for one plumber is A LOT.)

“But the package says they’re FLUSHABLE.”

“Anything’s technically flushable. Gravel is flushable. I can’t believe these things are still on the market.”

I’m sorry … WTF??!?

The long and short of it (according to my plumber) is, “flushable” does not necessarily mean biodegradable, although marketing efforts clearly lead the consumer to believe otherwise. Lesson learned.

After a little research, it seems this is happening all over the place – and not just in the U.S. Here’s some info I wish I would’ve had two years ago (these are just a few of the top Google links):

Motive Grounds
Mommysavers Forums
Amazon Reviews
Dooyoo
That Hideous Man

There’s almost nothing I hate more than to be made a fool of. All things considered, I pride myself on being a reasonably intelligent person, and I was duped. Yes, MommyPie’s more than a little pissed off. So, in appreciation, Kandoo, let me be the first to congratulate you on becoming the first product to earn my very personal Piece of Crap Award.

Stay tuned for more turds in the punchbowl, Gentle Reader …

Cloth diapers – one small step for baby, one giant leap for sanitation.

How cute is my little gbum!

I’ve been doing more research than is probably healthy on cloth diapers lately. I’m not super eco-mum so I’m not sure why this one gets me, but I found out that disposable diapers live for over 500 years in landfills. Something about that bothers me – Columbus sailed the ocean blue 560 years ago. If his mother had used diapers, it’s feasible they’d still be around! So, there’s that and then there is how cute the cloth diapers are now and how easy it all is now too and finally, there’s the cost. I spent $150 on all the diapers I should need from birth to 14 pounds, which is probably not that long, but disposable diapers come in much smaller increments so you’ll be switching a lot more often. A box of 50 pampers is $10. At a rate of 12 diapers a day, you’ll be buying them every 4 days. Blah blah blah… it’s cost worthy in the long run to go green, but more of an investment up front.

So, I’m going with gdiapers. I’ll let you know how it all goes!