Category Archives: Work work work

Working and living together. It can be done. I’m just not sure how yet.

Nanny vs. Daycare

There are clearly ups and downs to both. Our Nanny costs $500/weekly, which seems a little lower than standard in our area and daycare costs around $180.
But, daycare will also cost you a lot more when you factor in the health costs and the days off work dealing with a sick child.
And then there’s the emotions. Leaving your child at daycare is heart wrenching and the first time your child leans in to go to the nanny from your arms, you’ll probably want to punch her in the gut.
The search for either is extremely tough also. We visited several day cares and the good ones have waiting lists months long (we put our name down when pregnant, little man is now four months old and our name hasn’t come up yet). Finding a good nanny is tough too. We found ours because she was a friend’s nanny. She’s awesome and she was with them for about four years. Great reference, but if I have to hear one more time about how great the previous parents were, or her singing about their child to my child, “Where is Jakey? When is Jakey coming to visit us?” I may go Charlie Sheen on her ass.

No matter what you choose, I can guarantee you will questions your decision, but be strong. Whatever your choice, you’re child will still benefit more from the few hours you spend together daily and the love that surrounds him or her at home than any time spent with nannies or teachers.

Back at work after maternity leave

It’s weird to be back, but I’ll say this – it’s a lot easier than being at home and rushing around all day. I can eat whenever I want, pee whenever I want. Only thing was I cannot do is see my boy whenever I want and that sucks.

The thing I thought would be most difficult was picking up the work and getting into the groove, but I was wrong. That was surprisingly easy. I went through my emails and found what still needed to be done, started approving things immediately and felt right as rain. The hardest part was leaving the house. Waking up at 6, feeding JT, changing JT, pumping, getting hair  and makeup done, packing a lunch, eating breakfast, dressing and now I’m late for work! I got home at 6 and put my son to bed at 8, so he got to see me for 2 hours. That sucks!!

Nine months of yuck followed by 18 hours of hell for 2 hours a day!

 

Enjoying the momemt

The other day I was feeding my son while checking emails in my phone and I looked down to see him smiling at me. I wondered how long he had been staring at me like that and I thought it was sad that I’d been too “busy” to notice.
Tonight, as my maternity leave is ending, I’m sorry I missed out on that moment.

Six items of clothing or less: Maternity Edition

I saw this news article on GMA (I jump from GMA and the Today Show whenever Al Roker or Dry George Stephanopolous come on). A woman started a movement in which she only wore six items of clothing for a full month. Accessories are excluded from the six items so you can change shows, earrings etc as much as you want.

I realized this is much easier than you’d think when pregnant. Maternity clothes are a) outrageously expensive, b) ill fitting and c) not very cute. So here’s how you can live with six items or less easily when pregnant AND working!

I’m going to give you the summer version, but if you’re looking for the winter version, ping me at this post and I’ll throw it together for you.

Before you start, buy a belly band. I think this counts as an accessory and will extend your wardrobe to fit throughout the whole pregnancy (they basically stop your pants from falling down!). Next, check out what flats or wedges you have. These are considered accessories so go to town! You may need to change half way through pregnancy as your feet may grow, but shoes are the closest you can come to sexy towards the end of the pregnancy so choose wisely. I bought two pairs of wedges from Payless, one pink, one blue and I built all other accessories around these.

Wedge Shoes from Payless

Wedges from Payless

1. Item Number One: Black Pants for work.

Old Navy Black Pants

Old Navy Black Pants

Because your belly is sticky outy, it’s a good idea to go for skinny cut and if your workplace is business casual, maybe the cropped versions. I got these from Old Navy for $19. The belly part isn’t the best – I thought it would be better to go with the smaller waistband early in pregnancy, but later the really big one that goes over your whole belly stays up much better.

2. Black wrap dress.

Target Wrap Black Dress

Black Dress - wrap style from Target

I had one of these from OldNavy that wasn’t maternity and I wore it for the first six months, but as the belly grew, the length shrunk. It started to get a little too short for work, so I upgraded to the maternity version from Target. It wasn’t this exact one, but something similar. I paid around $29 for it and it’s probably the most used item in my closet.

3. Shirt (in a color to match your shoes, white or black)

Shirt from Motherhood Maternity

Shirt from Motherhood Maternity

Motherhood Maternity has great sales on shirts like this. I have this one, but there are a ton to choose from at that store and also at Gap.com and OldNavy.com. I would recommend a plain color because patterns stand out more and people will recognize that your wardrobe is limited faster, but that’s just me. This one is cotton and washes well, but you might want t-shirt material – just make sure it’s empire waist. Once that belly button pops, you won’t want tight over your tummy.

4. Shorts

Target Shorts

Target Shorts

Khaki shorts – standard staple. These are Target and cost about $20. they lasted a long time, but the waist band is getting a little tight. I have a pair of black by Liz Lange (also Target) and the waist band is a full waisted one which is more comfy now. Also, black can be dressed up for an evening out, so that may be the way to go.

5. Tanks

Old Navy Tank

Old Navy Tank Top

You might want to cheat here – I have 5 or six of these. This one is ribbed, but mine are not and I think that’s better because you’ll end up wearing these under everything. Old Navy sells these most of the time (not maternity) for around $10 (they’re 2 for 10 right now) and they are long which is good because it covers the tummy. You can also use nursing tanks and save yourself money for longevity! Stay away from lycra or any other stretchy material like it – it’ll ride up as the belly gets bigger and sit really tight around your ribs – not good for heartburn or long meetings! Get them in the color(s) that match your accessories.

6. Sundress

Old Navy sundress

Old Navy sundress

This is probably not a good example – it’s not very exciting and it’s very reasonable – but the sundress is probably where you should spend your money. It’s what you wear to go out, to a baby shower and it should be comfortable and cute. You can probably get away with wearing a regular dress for a while, especially empire waist and maybe by integrating the tank top. Make sure it’s comfy though. It’s hot out there and the last thing you need is a dress clinging to you!

Clothes to Avoid
Things I would avoid (and this depends on your body type) are maxi dresses, unless you’re tall (I’m only 5’3″ and look like a beached whale in a maxi dress) and shirts that have no shape. These will either make you flat chested (if you are not well blessed) or huge all over (if you are well blessed). A slightly fitted look, but not tight is good.

If I could keep going, I would add whatever you like to lounge in (husband’s tshirts, yoga pants, pajamas, whatever) other tops for work, a couple tops for going out, a second pair of pants for work (maybe khakis) and probably a pencil skirt but then I’d be breaking the rules!

Holding it all in at work

The hardest part of pregnancy is probably not something that you might have expected. It’s not the stretch marks (none yet thank god) or the weight gain, the lack of sleep and alcohol and sushi, or the influx of hormones – I’m starting to bum myself out here – its work. The place you spend more time than any other. Chances are that you’re the only pregnant person in the office and while you’re coworkers might seem pleased for you – they probably don’t want to hear about it. And that’s the hard part – it’s what you want to talk about. You carry around 20 extra pounds every day, spend 20 minutes more trying to figure out what you can wear that is comfortable and professional; try not to belch, breathe heavy, throw up or sweat to death at your desk while your insides are squished and kicked and your cubicle neighbor orders food that smells like 3-month old scrambled eggs and yet talking about it more than once a day is a big no-no.

So what do you do?
1. Sign up for BabyCenter daily updates (to be delivered to your phone, not work).  This will help you to feel like you’re not the only working pregnant woman out there (even though it may feel that way with all prenatal yoga classes being held at 11 am on Fridays)

2. Keep a blog, or a journal. It feels better to get stuff out, even if no one is listening.

3. Rely on your husband (partner, whatever) – text him, send him emails. This is the burden he carries – you schlep the 20 pounds, he schleps your anxiety!

4. Learn to bottle your feelings. Ok, this is probably not a good idea, but there maybe an inkling of good in the statement. You’re excited now; imagine how you’ll feel when the baby finally gets here! And sharing each tiny yawn through photos and videos is still taboo. And they wonder why mothers have such a hard time going back to work after giving birth!

5. Read this article from The Onion every day: “Pregnant-woman-acting-like-no-one-ever-got-pregnant before.”