Category Archives: The Blood, the Guts, The Not So Glorious

This category is locked because it details the not so pleasant parts that I’m not comfortable sharing with all the world. If you want access, email for permission.

Yet another reason to have a dog.

Last night was rough.

We’ve moved into the new house, but Little Man can’t stay there during the day because, until yesterday, the paint was still wet and all of our worldly possessions are stacked in the middle of each room. So, every day we drop him off at our nanny’s house and pick him up at day’s end. All fine, except our nanny lives an hour away, sometimes more as traffic during rush hour is always going with you.

So, last night I left work at 4:45, got to her house at 5:20 (amazing time), packed him up and set off again at 5:45. He hates the car seat now so he goes stiff as a board when you try to put him in it and starts screaming. Last night he alternated screaming and whining for an hour in the car. I was so frazzled when we got home; I called Mike to vent but just ended up being nasty to him out of frustration (he was at the old house trying to empty the fridge).

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Things I learned about having a baby

Our Nurse, Irene

A friend of mine is due any day now and I’m dying to give her advice because I’m a recovering know-it-all (this blog is part of my 12 steps. I haven’t figured out the other 11 yet, guess that’s why I’m still recovering), but I know how annoying advice is during pregnancy so I’ve kept my mouth shut… until now.

Here are a few of the things I learned about giving birth, bringing home baby, having a newborn…                                                            
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I walked into a trash can this weekend

Leaving Target, carrying the diaper genie elite in the box, I was reading the description and walked right into a trash can. Just one more misstep in the trials and tribulations of diaper disposal. When we found out we were expecting I asked around about the best way to dispose of diapers and from most people I heard that putting the diapers in a regular trash can and then tossing the bag daily outside is sufficient. So, I returned the diaper genie elite that we had registered for, along with all the special bags (which was the big downfall of the genie I heard) and bought the diaper pail instead. It takes regular bags but has a little piece that turns over so you don’t see the diapers.

Baby arrived and we started off with the diaper pail. Problem was you put the diaper in the top and turn the handle and you get poo on internal pieces that are impossible to wash. Howevere, in trying you put wipes in the top and find out that wipes get stuck somewhere in between and you have to pull them out, getting poo on your hands. So, the diaper pail went out the window.
Diaper Pail rating: Nissan Murano

We moved on to a large step trash can. After about 3 weeks of emptying it daily we noticed the smell remains and you see the pooy diapers every time you open it. So, the trash can went out the window.
Trash Can: Ford Focus

We moved on to the diaper genie. It was pricey so I chose the diaper genie II, rather than the  elite to save $10. It was good for lack of smell, but you have to open the lid (one hand opening, one hand holding baby on table, one hand holding diaper… wait that won’t work) and you have to push the diaper into the disposal by hand. Just one day with a baby will tell you that newborn poo gets everywhere. EVERYWHERE. Somehow you have it on both hands, up the wall, on your shirt and almost always on baby’s foot. Do you really want to be pushing it through a small opening by hand? So, the diaper genie II went out the window.
Diaper Genie II: Cadillac Escalade

We have worked our way from bottom to top. The Diaper Genie Elite has a step, is tall enough that I don’t have to bend down (I’m not lazy, I just want to be on the same level as my baby on the changing table) and has a mouth opening that opens each time I step on the step. Bingo. No smell, no touching or pushing poo, no residual poo on the receptacle.
Diaper Genie Elite: Aston Martin DB7

So, if you are looking to save money, don’t do what I did and avoid the special diaper bags. I spent approx $25 on each that did not work out and $30 on the Diaper Elite. $60 down the drain to save money.

Last week… maybe. Symptoms

So, despite the major confusion over the actual due date (could be the 12th, the 14th or the 19th depending which doctor you ask), I thought it would be good to mention some of the things that happen towards the end. Maybe these things are just me, maybe they happen to all.
1. The baby drops.
I know this doesn’t happen to all. I guess second time mothers don’t always have the drop until birth. For me it happened last week. I didn’t feel it but the doctor told me, and people noticed that my belly actually looks like it’s going to collapse over rather than hanging in suspense.

2. Your boobs leak.
This started about three weeks ago. Nothing major and more out of one than the other, but tiny drops appeared when I was washing. Supposedly you aren’t supposed to partake in nipple play because it can induce you (my sis-in-law’s doctor told her), but anything that might induce is for me!

3. Feet and hands swell.
Not just after you walk either. Pretty much all the time. It’s not really noticeable all the time, but try making a fist and you’ll notice.

4. Changes downstairs.
Constant leaking. Not like water breaking just enough to make you uncomfortable and want to shower twice a day. Try panty liners. And also, you have to go number 2 after everything you eat. It’s not diarrhea but it’s kind of like the beginning of a stomach bug where you wonder if it’s gonna get worse.

5. Your bones ache
For me, when he dropped, I could feel his weight on my pelvis when I lay down. I have to turn over throughout the night as my hips and pelvis start to hurt. Sometimes my ribs too.

6. You can’t keep up
I can’t walk more than a mile now. My feet and hands swell like crazy, including the bottom of my feet and my body will ache and this pain will go on for 2 days. Not worth it!

7. Contractions
I have little contractions every now and then. Nothing regular of course. They feel like the muscles in your tummy squeeze up tight and the baby is really tight in there. It feels kind of like a period cramp or gas pains.

There are plenty of other symptoms of labor, but I haven’t had any others yet. For more symptoms, check this link:

Sensitivity Training

Being in the last few weeks of pregnancy is the hardest mental game I’ve ever played. Everything is heavy, it’s hot and sticky, there are things happening to my body on a minute by minute basis that are disturbing and I’m constantly pretending that nothing unusual is going on (baby moving and kicking you in the bladder, the lungs, the kidneys, things are coming out of your body and you don’t know whether to panic or not, baby not moving and you counting the minutes panicked that he’s in distress) I’m waking up at 3 am every morning, sometimes I go back to sleep, sometimes I don’t, but every day I start work at 9. Braxton Hicks contractions happen at work, you call the doctor and she says, lie down. Where am I supposed to do that? On top of that, you deal with the hormones and not knowing whether you are overreacting when your boss asks if you’ll be joining a meeting the week after the baby is due; coworkers telling you that 12 weeks is a long time to take off to spend with your first born child. Like I said, it’s the hardest thing I’ve ever dealt with.  If you know someone going through this, be nice to them.

Don’t tell them they look like they’re having twins when they’re not.
Don’t joke about scaring them into labor.
Don’t tell them scary stories about labor, birth or babies.
Don’t make comments about their body.
If you are their husband or significant other, don’t make comments about their body or anyone else’s.
Don’t say anything like, almost there or not long now, or really, you still have the long? You look like you’re ready to go.
And more than anything else, if  you want to continue living with all limbs and full capacity, don’t mention anything about hormones or her mood.

Breastfeeding Laws

Here is the latest on when, where and how you can breastfeed taken directly and without change from the National Conference of State Legislatures. Note that in Florida you can breast feed in public but have no rights defined for work. So I can breastfeed at work, but not pump – that’s helpful!
Updated March 2010


Health professionals and public health officials promote breastfeeding to improve infant health. Both mothers and children benefit from breast milk.  Breast milk contains antibodies that protect infants from bacteria and viruses.  Breastfed children have fewer ear infections, respiratory infections, urinary tract infections and have diarrhea less often.  Infants who are exclusively breastfed tend to need fewer health care visits, prescriptions and hospitalizations resulting in a lower total medical care cost compared to never-breastfed infants.  Breastfeeding also provides long-term preventative effects for the mother, including an earlier return to pre-pregnancy weight and a reduced risk of pre-menopausal breast cancer and osteoporosis. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, approximately 70 percent of mothers start breastfeeding immediately after birth, but less than 20 percent of those moms are breastfeeding exclusively six months later. It is a national goal to increase the proportion of mothers who breastfeed their babies in the early postpartum period to 75 percent by the year 2010.

Federal Health Reform and Nursing Mothers

President Obama signed the Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act, H.R. 3590, on March 23rd and the Reconciliation Act of 2010, H.R. 4872, on March 30, 2010. (See the combined full text of Public Laws 111-148 and 111-152 here.)  Among many provisions, Section 4207 of the law amends the Fair Labor Standards Act of 1938 (29 U.S.Code 207) to require an employer to provide reasonable break time for an employee to express breast milk for her nursing child for one year after the child’s birth each time such employee has need to express milk.  The employer is not required to compensate an employee receiving reasonable break time for any work time spent for such purpose.  The employer must also provide a place, other than a bathroom, for the employee to express breast milk.  If these requirements impose undue hardship, an employer that employs less than 50 employees is not subject to these requirements.  Furthermore, these requirements shall not preempt a state law that provides greater protections to employees.

State Breastfeeding Laws

  • Forty-four states, the District of Columbia and the Virgin Islands have laws with language specifically allowing women to breastfeed in any public or private location (Alabama, Alaska, Arizona, Arkansas, California, Colorado, Connecticut, Delaware, Florida, Georgia, Hawaii, Illinois, Indiana, Iowa, Kansas, Kentucky, Louisiana, Maine, Maryland, Massachusetts, Minnesota, Mississippi, Missouri, Montana, Nevada, New Hampshire, New Jersey, New Mexico, New York, North Carolina, North Dakota, Ohio, Oklahoma, Oregon, Pennsylvania, Rhode Island, South Carolina, Tennessee, Texas, Utah, Vermont, Washington, Wisconsin and Wyoming).
  • Twenty-eight states, the District of Columbia and the Virgin Islands exempt breastfeeding from public indecency laws (Alaska, Arizona, Arkansas, Florida, Illinois, Kentucky, Louisiana, Massachusetts, Michigan, Minnesota, Mississippi, Montana, Nevada, New Hampshire, New York, North Carolina, North Dakota, Oklahoma, Pennsylvania, Rhode Island, South Carolina, South Dakota, Tennessee, Utah, Virginia, Washington, Wisconsin and Wyoming).
  • Twenty-four states, the District of Columbia and Puerto Rico have laws related to breastfeeding in the workplace (Arkansas, California, Colorado, Connecticut, Georgia, Hawaii, Illinois, Indiana, Maine, Minnesota, Mississippi, Montana, New Mexico, New York, North Dakota, Oklahoma, Oregon, Rhode Island, Tennessee, Texas, Vermont, Virginia, Washington and Wyoming).
  • Twelve states and Puerto Rico exempt breastfeeding mothers from jury duty (California, Idaho, Illinois, Iowa, Kansas, Kentucky, Mississippi, Montana, Nebraska, Oklahoma, Oregon and Virginia).
  • Five states and Puerto Rico have implemented or encouraged the development of a breastfeeding awareness education campaign (California, Illinois, Minnesota, Missouri and Vermont).

Several states have unique laws related to breastfeeding. For instance,

  • The state of Virginia allows women to breastfeed on any land or property owned by the state.  Puerto Rico requires shopping malls, airports, public service government centers and other select locations to have accessible areas designed for breastfeeding and diaper changing that are not bathrooms.
  • At least two states have laws related to child care facilities and breastfeeding. Louisiana prohibits any child care facility from discriminating against breastfed babies. Mississippi requires licensed child care facilities to provide breastfeeding mothers with a sanitary place that is not a toilet stall to breastfeed their children or express milk, to provide a refrigerator to store expressed milk, to train staff in the safe and proper storage and handling of human milk, and to display breastfeeding promotion information to the clients of the facility.
  • California requires the Department of Public Health to develop a training course of hospital policies and recommendations that promote exclusive breastfeeding and specify staff for whom this model training is appropriate.  The recommendation is targeted at hospitals with patients who ranked in the lowest twenty-five percent of the state for exclusive breastfeeding rates.
  • Maryland exempts the sale of tangible personal property that is manufactured for the purpose of initiating, supporting or sustaining breastfeeding from the sales and use tax.
  • California, New York and Texas have laws related to the procurement, processing, distribution or use of human milk.
  • New York created a Breastfeeding Mothers Bill of Rights, which is required to be posted in maternal health care facilities.

Prepare your barf bag: 5 ‘Fun’ Things You Can Do With Your Baby’s Placenta Gallery

This post from Inhabitots is possibly the most disgusting thing I’ve ever seen:

This is a bear made of real human placenta

1. Craft A Teddy Bear

How could anyone ever forget the placenta teddy bear we previously featured? Almost 11,000 Inhabitots readers voted and deemed the not-so-cuddly ode to the organ “Barftastic!” Still, 732 of you deemed it “Adorable.” To make this unique Teddy Bear, the placenta must be cut and cured with sea salt, and then made pliable with a tannin and egg mixture before transforming it into a one-of-a-kind teddy.

Follow this link for more: Inhabitots placenta ideas