7 things you shouldn’t say when a friend tells you she’s pregnant

1. “I knew it, you look bigger”/ “I could tell” “Thank God, I thought you were getting fat” (or any variation).
My friend said this to me and the last time I had seen her, I wasn’t pregnant. If someone should ask you to guess their news, never guess this; even if you know she’s trying, it would be very painful for her if you’re wrong.

2. “Wow, do you think that’s a good idea?”
No matter what you think of your friend’s relationship or her ability to be a good mother, your opinion will come back to bite you.

3. Don’t touch her belly.
Chances are, she’s not very far along so she will just feel kind of chubby. You wouldn’t want your belly rubbed after a chicken vindaloo or a meatball sub, so don’t do it now.

4. Don’t spew the scary stories.
A friend that recently had a healthy baby started telling me about cerebral palsy. I stopped her half way through to ask where this was going… I was hoping for some weird twist allowing a happy ending, but there was none coming.

5. Is your partner excited?
What’s the answer you’re hoping for here?

6. Don’t ask if you can post it on Facebook.
It’s not your news

7. Don’t ask if she’s told so and so.
It’s not a competition. There were certain people I knew I should tell first (parents, siblings) and then people I knew I had to tell so that they wouldn’t hear it through the grapevine (like friends that were trying and having fertility issues). One of my coworkers asked when I would tell my parents – did she really think I would tell coworkers before my parents?

What did people say to you when you revealed?


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