Monthly Archives: March 2010

Pregnancy puts the pre in preparation

According to medterms.com: “The word “pregnant” comes from the Latin pre- meaning before + (g)natus meaning birth = before (giving) birth. The word “prenatal” has exactly the same origin.”

I don’t think it’s quite that simple though. I think pregnancy is almost a test to see if your environment (your body, your mind, your life) is suitable for a baby. During these nine months you will be tested. Constantly. And if you make it through, this is nature’s way of saying you are healthy and ready for motherhood.

My first test is lack of sleep. I’m so uncomfortable when I lie down that I may attack the next person that says, “Get your rest now. It won’t happen after the baby gets here.” You can’t lie on your stomach or your back and my sides aren’t flat so that’s not happening either and that leaves? Nothing. Meaning no sleep. That being said, the boppy is my only hope – it forces me to lie somewhere between my back and side. If you don’t have one of these, get one. Target has them.

The Boppy Total Body Pillow

I don’t know who can sleep on their own arm like this. I certainly can’t, so I sleep with the boppy behind me and the bottom part between my knees.

Test #2: Nerves. You can’t feel your baby all the time (or if you’re like me, you have no symptoms other than painful boobs). So you’re talking about it and preparing but in the back of your head there’s a little voice that says, “Maybe it’s not there anymore.” or “Maybe it’s not growing anymore.” There’s only one solution for this and that is seeing or hearing your baby. The doctor won’t let you stop by for an ultrasound whenever you feel like it – something about expenses and medical training blah blah blah – but you might be able to take up the rubber gloves by yourself for less than you’ve been spending on your cravings. Rent a fetal heart rate monitor for around

From DynamicDoppler.com

$20 a month. For that money you should be able to hear your baby (I can’t vouch for how easy it is yet, mine is on order) plus piece of mind. Try dynamicdoppler.com or search the Internet.

Test #3: Life goes on. You may want to celebrate and then sleep but you still have to hand in that report, deal with annoying neighbors and pick up after your dog.  If you saw my last post, you’ll agree that bad news doesn’t stop or lessen when you add a joyful pregnancy to your life. And, as usual, it never rains but it pours. Last night my dog collapsed from kidney failure. Our wondrous vet is working hard to get her back in tip top shape, but the reality is that she’s fourteen and we’re fighting for a few more months. She’s the love of my life – my husband was warned as such when he came in to our lives. She makes every day of my life better, even the very best and the very worst.  She is a joyful soul and I’m sorry that my baby won’t remember her.

Chelsea

What does melancholy do to the baby?

Stressed out?

I found out yesterday that a close friend aged 35 has been given only a few weeks to live. Of course this news has thrown me for a loop and a half. I can’t sleep, I’m just in shock.

So, now I will be flying back to England. This is not good for the baby I know – according to my week by week book, you shouldn’t travel at certain altitudes for any length of time. Kind of hard to get around it in this case. And the stress? Between this trip and facing the concept of death, I have major work deadlines for the end of the month and the fetal over-35 screening (this is the standard integrated screening for Down Syndrome). So how is the stress affecting my baby?

According to Women’s Health on About.com emotional stress during pregnancy has not been proven to harm the baby. That being said, the effects it can have on mum can trickle down, such as lack of sleep and poor eating habits which sometimes happens because of stress, can cause illness. And illness can harm the baby.

Here are some suggestions to keep stress manageable:

  • Say no. If you are over booked and it’s at all possible to drop a commitment or two, do it. Give away tickets you might have, don’t dwell on any guilt, just remember why you’re doing this.
  • Stay healthy. Try to sleep as much as you can, eat when you’re hungry and drink as much water as you can. Also, try to stay away from others that are sick; you immune system is probably low and your prone to pick up any infections.
  • Talk to someone/ Ask for help.  Talk through your problems with someone you know will understand. Don’t waste your breath telling people who won’t be supportive. If you can delegate some of your tasks, do it. You can pay back favors at a later date. If you’re not comfortable talking to anyone, write it down (like in a blog!)
  • Yoga/ Meditation/ Walking. Breathing techniques are proven to relax you. You’ll get some good breathing in if you meditate (if you’re like me and don’t have this down yet, try Gwyneth Paltrow’s recommendations), do yoga or even go for a faster paced walk.
  • Don’t ignore your emotions. This just prolongs any emotions you have. If you are angry for example, admit it, talk it through and you can usually move on much faster than if you let it fester and grow inside you.

If none of these sound like reasonable solutions, my final suggestion is to run away from it all. I’d suggest The Bahamas:

Long Island in the Bahamas

That’s a play house to be proud of!

Check out this amazing play house from Sandra Powell

Before

After

This is the most amazing thing – I can’t believe somebody built this, basically out of a closet, and only in a matter of weeks! Please check out Sandra’s adorable blog to see the progress of this playroom and step by step photos.

Gallery

11 weeks

11 weeks Originally uploaded by Royal Belly

Motherhood WILL change you

I saw a friend of mine this weekend. She had a baby three months ago. This baby was an oops – she had moved away from her boyfriend several months before (they were together for many years), but had come back for a visit. They were considering getting back together when she found out she was expecting. From what she told us, her friends, she had never wanted children.

Her little boy is now three months old and she threw a three-month old “birthday” party for him over the weekend. Her house is covered in photos of the baby, everybody that was invited either had a baby or was expecting and the talk was entirely about babies. Being connected to a baby in your belly is not the same. From someone who has yet to see the toes and fingers of my baby, I can tell you that for sure. I’m petrified of losing this baby, but it’s still a thing. Yes, a thing I talk to, but still a thing, a glimpse of what might be, but not actually the real thing. I dream about holding it and what that will feel like deep inside me, but I have no idea.

People change. No matter how much my husband and I say we’ll still be the same people, that we won’t become obsessed, I realize now that’s not going to happen. Not only is there no way to avoid it, but I don’t think we’ll want to.

If you don’t believe me, read this and you will: http://www.breastfeeding.com/reading_room/change_your_life.html

7 things you shouldn’t say when a friend tells you she’s pregnant

1. “I knew it, you look bigger”/ “I could tell” “Thank God, I thought you were getting fat” (or any variation).
My friend said this to me and the last time I had seen her, I wasn’t pregnant. If someone should ask you to guess their news, never guess this; even if you know she’s trying, it would be very painful for her if you’re wrong.

2. “Wow, do you think that’s a good idea?”
No matter what you think of your friend’s relationship or her ability to be a good mother, your opinion will come back to bite you.

3. Don’t touch her belly.
Chances are, she’s not very far along so she will just feel kind of chubby. You wouldn’t want your belly rubbed after a chicken vindaloo or a meatball sub, so don’t do it now.

4. Don’t spew the scary stories.
A friend that recently had a healthy baby started telling me about cerebral palsy. I stopped her half way through to ask where this was going… I was hoping for some weird twist allowing a happy ending, but there was none coming.

5. Is your partner excited?
What’s the answer you’re hoping for here?

6. Don’t ask if you can post it on Facebook.
It’s not your news

7. Don’t ask if she’s told so and so.
It’s not a competition. There were certain people I knew I should tell first (parents, siblings) and then people I knew I had to tell so that they wouldn’t hear it through the grapevine (like friends that were trying and having fertility issues). One of my coworkers asked when I would tell my parents – did she really think I would tell coworkers before my parents?

What did people say to you when you revealed?

Adorable bookshelf

How cute is this bookcase? It’s handmade and stackable, so you can buy as many as you need and stack them all. The wood is natural but they will paint it for you before shipping out. It’s so reasonable too: $22.00 for each shelf.

Check out jnmnt53’s store for this and other stuff.