Monthly Archives: February 2010

First Ultrasound

Husband and I went for the first ultrasound yesterday. They stick a wand inside you (same wand they checked my insides for fertility treatments) and you see your insides. First you see a black empty space that is the sack for the baby. Then, the doctor says hmmm, I don’t see anything in there and you’re stomach drops until finally she finds it and you’re not sure whether to punch her or hug her. The baby is about the size of a grain of rice and looks to be all heart (which can’t possibly be a bad thing!) It was pretty emotional for me. My husband on the other hand said, That’s it?
So she measured it and told us that we’re probably more like 6 weeks now (which knocks off a few days or so). Husband thinks we should start counting on Tuesdays instead of Thursdays, but that would just confuse things, so we’re sticking with Thursdays! Decision made!
My folks were all waiting with baited breath to hear results which was nice, as I kind of feel like I’m behind the curve and the excitement is not there for this grandchild. Turns out they wanted to know whether it was more than one. When I said it was one, the conversation was pretty much done; other than receiving advice on not putting on weight this early! It starts!

Moody pants

I am so irritable right now, I feel like I’m ready for a big fight, especially at work. I realized after 3 different people annoyed me in the first 2 hours, that it was probably me and not them.
According to babycenter.com, “Some moms-to-be experience heightened emotions, both good and bad; others feel more depressed or anxious. Most find that moodiness flares up at around 6 to 10 weeks, eases up in the second trimester, and then reappears as their pregnancy winds to a close.”
Great, for some reason it’s comforting to know it’s not just me, that there are several thousand women walking the earth looking for a fight!

6 weeks

I woke up this morning at 5a.m. because I was “leaking.” I’m hoping that this is enough information and I don’t have to explain to you what I mean. If you’re a boy – it’s a girl thing. I was panicked because I felt sure it would be blood, but it was nothing. I lay awake until it was time to get up in a mild state of panic. I could feel the anxiety crawling all over me. I have no real reason to worry, but that doesn’t stop me. I feel nothing and I worry, I feel a cramp and I worry. My arm has been hurting and I’m worried it’s a symptom of an ectopic pregnancy.
The irony is that it took us a year to get here and we told ourselves that if we could just get here it would all be smooth sailing, but smooth sailing doesn’t stop you from thinking each ripple is a tidal wave. Now we tell ourselves each milestone will ease the nerves, but they don’t. If you’re anything like me and I’d like to think you are – then wherever you are, promise yourself you will learn to relax, to meditate because if you plan on getting through life, you’re going to need it.